I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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