Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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