It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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