was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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