I need help removing her.
You can't motorboat a personality
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
