She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
