I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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