So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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