I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Everclear isn't food dammit
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
