Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
