quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
