just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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