I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So much rum. So many feels.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
