The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
