Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
