I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
