Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He better not be in your backpack
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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