I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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