Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
now i know why i became what i already was.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm always down for nudity.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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