I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
