thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
