i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
