I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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