What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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