I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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