Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
