I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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