when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
