I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
