as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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