i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
