she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
