The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
