i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
