Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
