Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize