everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
