While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
