He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Randomize
