If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
