Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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