Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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