god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
