spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
