you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize