then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
