You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I skipped work to stalk him.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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