Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize