I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My penis needs a shock collar
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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