Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
