just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
