The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Your cock deserves a montage
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
