he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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