Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
