Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize