Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
