Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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