your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
