I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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