Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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