This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize