Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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