I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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