If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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