i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
